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Depression and Anxiety
Worthy: A Key To Overpowering Depression
April 26, 2010 - Posted by JustinS
I was at
a conference for therapists last week and listened to various
workshops put on by therapists presenting on their counseling
with people in conjunction to what they are finding helps people
heal based on research. One such topic was given by Brene’
Brown, a therapist I came to respect based on her research with
belonging and attachment in relationships.
The gist
of what she shared at the in her presentation was about the
issue of worthiness. What she found was that most individuals
that struggle with depression and attachment in relationships
struggle internally with the notion of worthiness. Worthiness
is defined as ones feeling that they have the value and intrinsic
worth that as a human being they deserve and can own love and
attachment with others. The research is clear that individuals
that struggle with depression struggle to subconsciously feel
worthy of a better life, worthy of a stable marriage, worthy
of having kids that respect them, etc. The variables that came
out strongly in Brene’s research indicated that those that
have weaker attachments with others and depression did in fact
also have a similar thread that of feeling unworthy, that they
did not deserve to have a life of peace and happiness. You may
say, “I don’t feel that way, I deserve happiness now.”
My retort is, do you? Do you deeply feel you are worthy now,
worthy to feel love from others, worthy to feel confident, worthy
and deserving to be passionate? Most do not, they do not since
they are socialized as children to deal with guilt, shame, and
doubt the trio that fuels depression and sadness in adults.
I meet with adults and teens daily, working and guiding them
in battling their foes. The foes they feud often are fueled
at their core by the trio I mentioned above. In order to find
peace and battle sadness and depression they must tackle the
foes first in order to make any headway.
So how does
one combat the issue of feeling unworthy and undeserving? You
begin by noting the things in your mind and in writing that
you feel worthy of now. Go ahead, literally write it down, list
what you feel worth of and start reading that list daily. Now
this is not mere hype and self-hypnosis, this is affirming what
you know and believe now. As you do, you will be more open to
the things you do not feel worthy of. Also, moving into a position
of thinking that you do deserve things. Do so by saying to yourself,
internally or otherwise, “I deserve this.” At times
if the negative thoughts are too pervasive you’ll need
to challenge them by stating and saying you are worthy even
if you don’t feel like it. Olympic athletes to this, they
act, speak, and live a vision of winning in order to do so.
So, don’t
hold back, instead start thinking and being worthy in your thoughts
and actions. The worthiness will come. You must start believing
first and create space in your mind and heart for that to happen.
Copyright:
No part of this article in section or full may be reproduced
without permission from the author Justin Stum, MS LMFT. The
one and only exception is for educational purposes and only
if the contact information below for the author is fully cited
here in article.
Justin
Stum, MS LMFT, 321 Mall Drive Suite I-101, St. George Utah 84790
435-986-1777, http://www.pathwaystherapy.net
Social Anxiety During The Holidays
DECEMBER 26, 2009 - Posted by JustinS
The
holidays are filled with gatherings, work parties, socials,
and church events, all activities typically enjoyed by all.
For some though, they are not events that bring nostalgia and
excitement. Individuals that suffer and deal with social anxiety
find these events troubling and more of a chore than a longed-for
reunion with family and friends. Social anxiety is more than
shyness or occasional nerves. It is fueled by feeling that you
will again experience symptoms of anxiety, fear, and overwhelming
nervousness that is not only uncomfortable but may be noticed
by others. You may be said to being dealing with social anxiety
if you experience these feelings and they effect your daily
life. Most individuals want to fit in with their friends and
family and don't want to be judged or embarrassed. Those with
social anxiety have normal fears but they are amplified and
can be overwhelming. Feeling like others may judge or compare
you in social situations are tenets that characterize this social
struggled. In fact, when in new or awkward social situations
the anxiety levels can soar to harmful levels and individuals
have a physical experience as a result of the emotional process.
For example, stomach issues, sweating, and bowel complications
can result with untreated anxiety.
Some of the most common symptoms of social anxiety are: worrying
days or weeks before a particular social event, fear of being
judged, watched, or embarrassed by others, and fear that others
will notice the anxiety. Research indicates that Cognitive Behavioral
Therapy or CBT is the most effective treatment for conditions
of anxiety and depression. CBT is based on the premise that
what you think affects how you feel, and your feelings impact
your behavior. Therefore if you can alter the way you think
about social situations that fuel and create anxiety, you’ll
feel much better and can manage anxieties that attempt to arise.
Thought restructuring, systematic desensitization, relaxation
and self-soothing techniques are only a few of the ways you
can break through the anxiety and reclaim your life all of which
I can guide you through.
Peace and calm are possible during social events, particularly
ones during the holidays. If you struggle with social awkwardness
or social anxiety you may want to schedule an appointment for
an assessment in my office and get some guidance working through
the issues. You'll be glad you did.
Copyright:
No part of this article in section or full may be reproduced
without permission from the author Justin Stum, MS LMFT. The
one and only exception is for educational purposes and only
if the contact information below for the author is fully cited
here in article.
Justin
Stum, MS LMFT, 321 Mall Drive Suite I-101, St. George Utah 84790
435-986-1777, http://www.pathwaystherapy.net
Tags: insecurity,
fear, social anxiety
Depression:
Fueled by Sadness and Self-defeating Thoughts
NOVEMBER 12, 2009 - Posted by JustinS
Depression
is a condition that is fueled by several factors. More often
than not, laypersons think that depression is a result of a
chemical imbalance based on discussion and rumor in layperson
circles. Actually, it is not technically known what causes depression
but we have a few solid leads on that issue.
Depression can be fueled or caused by physical changes in the
body or brain, by thoughts and experiences, and also by environments
or settings. For example, individuals that suffer an injury,
such as a traumatic brain injury, can have drastic changes in
mood and emotional regulation. Chemicals and body balance following
the birth of a child can induce post-partum depression in women.
Likewise, thoughts that are gloomy, negative, and disparaging
can fuel the body and mind into a slump of gloom and depression.
Lastly, depression can be onset by trauma and conditions that
are abusive to ones body or spirit, such as living in an abusive
home or being emotionally abused by a spouse or family member.
Therapy and medication helps to manage depression when it begins
to fuel relational and internal problems with individuals. In
fact cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT has shown remarkable
outcomes in patients not on medication. Patients on medication
report with newer SSRIs such as Lexapro much fewer symptoms
and greater gains in mood stabilization. In recent years, outcome
research on the impact of endorphins and exercise and it's mellowing
effect on the mind/body connection clearly indicate that an
active regular exercise program does combat depression as effectively
in many cases as medication.
Alternatively, you could take a Beck Depression Inventory assessment
and have your levels of depression measured, counselors offer
these assessments to gauge ones depression levels. I'd also
recommend visiting with a therapist, as they are expert at ferreting
through and helping persons manage irrational and self-defeating
thoughts, the primary fuel for depression. I recommend medication
as an alternative and supplement in certain situations not a
solution. Therapy is clearly the first step then possibly medication.
Medication without counseling is merely a band-aid over the
problem and is simply lingers beneath the surface.
I've worked
with many clients that struggle with depression that has lingered
for years, and with some working through in session are able
to find meaning, understanding, and ultimately healing from
the depression. When doing CBT I measure the depression levels
at each session and chart the treatment in ways that assure
progress and depression abatement can occur. Healing is possible,
leave your depression behind by gaining the tools and skills
to conquer it.
Copyright:
No part of this article in section or full may be reproduced
without permission from the author Justin Stum, MS LMFT. The
one and only exception is for educational purposes and only
if the contact information below for the author is fully cited
here in article.
Justin
Stum, MS LMFT, 321 Mall Drive Suite I-101, St. George Utah 84790
435-986-1777, http://www.pathwaystherapy.net
Tags: depression,
medication, irrational thoughts
Stepping
Into The Dark - Risk Taking
NOVEMBER 1, 2009 - Posted by JustinS
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What
makes taking risks so difficult? I’ve often heard clients,
family, friends, and others talk about the difficulty in taking
risks; in trying something difficult; in stepping into the unknown.
Anxiety
and trepidation is fueled by irrational thoughts. Thoughts like,
“I can’t do that, it is far to difficult.” or
“That’s not me, he can do that but I don’t have
what it takes.” It is these thought processes or cognitions,
as therapists call them, that hedge up and keep people from
being bold; from doing things they hope and dream of doing but
do not. What are you wanting to do but have not stepped up and
done? What is holding you back, might it be the irrational internal
beliefs that you can’t do it or doubts you’ve had?
The age old adage, “as a man thinketh, so is he” hold
true. Your thoughts very much influence what you believe and
visa versa. Don’t allow your spirit to be bound by doubts
and fears, but instead liberate it by stepping into the unknown.
Take a risk and jump in, you’d be surprised how you can
do it!
I recall
a favorite gem from a book I read years ago that highlights
this idea. “I think you really should make a radical change
in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may
previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant
to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances
and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation
because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity,
and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace
of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous
spirit within a man than a secure future.” – Jon Krakauer,
Into the Wild
So, author
a new chapter in the journey of your life. Start risking and
leave the simple conformity and comfort and be bold with your
aspirations. The human spirit feeds on new experiences, new
challenges, and new opportunities. What are you avoiding or
holding from back that you’ve wanted? Embrace your challenges,
be bold!
Copyright: No part of this article in section or full may be
reproduced without permission from the author Justin Stum, MS
LMFT. The one and only exception is for educational purposes
and only if the contact information below for the author is
fully cited here in article.
Justin Stum,
MS LMFT, 321 Mall Drive Suite I-101, St. George Utah 84790
435-986-1777, http://www.pathwaystherapy.net
Tags: anxiety,
conformity, fear, risk
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