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Catergory:
Emotional Regulation
Sleep
& Emotional Regulation
JULY 15, 2009 - Posted by JustinS
Sleep
is one of the most key elements in emotional and relational
health. Sleep is a process within which your body rejuvenates.
I am not referencing merely resting, it is a time when the body-mind
repairs itself. It is during rapid eye movement or REM that
you actually rest and your body is restored.
We live
in a time when technology and demands for our time has never
been greater on individuals, couples, and families. Persons
experiencing emotional or relational distress are often lacking
in their sleep. Sleep does not often cause these problems but
is a catalyst to conflict in relationships if not managed and
honored. Erratic and inconsistent sleep can fuel a lack of rational
reasoning and prompt reactivity in relationships. Research indicates
that the average adult needs eight hours of sleep to be fully
healthy and have access to your emotional resources and to be
able to regulate smoothly ones emotions. You can often get by
with a bit more or less but over time it does and will catch
up with you. This is called sleep debt, a lack of that builds
up like accrued debt and wears on ones ability to regulate emotion.
Often I
find that individuals and couples in relationships find themselves
fighting when they are tired and lacking sleep. Clients report
of debates and caustic statements that are made late in the
evening or when they are struggling with a history of sleep
debt. These statements are often impulsive and quickly undermine
the relationship.
Get your
sleep! Not simply to feel rested per se, but to have all your
cognitive and emotional resources at your disposal. Want more
information on sleep? Get more details about sleep, levels of
sleep, sleep debt, etc at this external
link
Copyright:
No part of this article in section or full may be reproduced
without permission from the author Justin Stum, MS LMFT. The
one and only exception is for educational purposes and only
if the contact information below for the author is fully cited
here in article.
Justin
Stum, MS LMFT, 321 Mall Drive Suite I-101, St. George Utah 84790
435-986-1777, http://www.pathwaystherapy.net
Tags: sleep,
relationships, emotional
regulation
Mindfulness:
Purposeful Awareness In Relationships
JULY 1, 2009 - Posted by JustinS
Mindfulness
has its roots in Buddhist teaching with respect to pondering
and meditation. One need not subscribe to Eastern religion to
adhere to pondering and mindfulness. It can be lived in common
every day life. Mindfulness is the state within which one has
keen and clear awareness. It is conceptualized as a mental state
that is characterized by calm yet sharp awareness of one's body,
feelings, and mental process. Mindfulness is twofold in that
it is a mental and physical state of presentness, and being
in the 'now'. Mindfulness, is a healthy practice for those who
wish to reduce stress, manage conflicts in relationships, or
build personal awareness.
One can cultivate mindfulness during meditation/pondering by
quelling thoughts related to the past or the future and instead
being keenly aware of what is going on in one's body. Individuals
that practice mindfulness pay attention to the present, to what
is happening right now. Mindfulness is self-care, taking care
of oneself and managing one's thoughts in a purposeful way.
Often individuals minds are aware yet are also engaged and entirely
unaware of other processes occurring (emotions, memories, fears,
etc). For example, if one were mindful in a discussion with
a spouse, they would be aware of their body's sensations, their
facial expressions, their breathing,and their thoughts and emotions.
One might also be aware of their spouses current process as
well. It is imperative that one learn and comprehend emotional
processes within themselves and be able to purposefully monitor
and connect with them in order to manage and direct relationships
in a healthy and productive manner. Individuals that find themselves
in conflict with others are typically 'aware' of the conflict
and issues yet are not mindful or purposeful about how they
speak or listen to others. It is in using purposeful language
and mindful intention that guides them to attune themselves
to others in their relationships, which results in healthy bonds
and meaningful attachments.
Mindfulness
is not an act or something you simply do, it is something that
you begin doing and eventually it is something that you are.
Taking even
a few minutes out of each day to find a quiet space and sit
and simply be. By being I am referring to not thinking about
work, family, responsibilities, etc. but simply just sitting
still and 'being'. Noticing your breathing, your body, the quiet.
It is a way of calming the static and chaos that can occur from
ones busy life. Doing this midday while away from external distractions
can help to re-center and reduce stress. Research suggests that
mindfulness meditation may improve mood, decrease stress, and
boost immune function found in study by Kabat-Zinn, a guru of
mindfulness meditation and the founder of the Mindfulness-Based
Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts
Medical Center.
Mindfulness Meditation - An Example
1. Find a quiet and comfortable place, ideally one without others
around where you can be still.
2. Keep
your mind in the present, avoid past or future events, relationships,
etc.
3. Engage
in being aware of your body and how it feels. Focus on your
breathing and the sensation of air movement as you breathe.
Pay attention to the way each breath changes and is different.
4. Notice
the thoughts that enter in your mind and leave, thoughts that
may be related to fear, doubt, or stress and like thoughts.
When these enter in your mind don't push them out, rather simply
note them, remain still and calm and use your breathing a stable
area to lean on.
5. If your
mind finds itself drifting off, become aware of where you drifted
to and without criticism or judgment, simply move back into
your breathing.
6. As your
mindful session is concluding, sit for one to two minutes, becoming
aware of where you are. Get up gradually.
Also, for
a good book on mindfulness I recommend Mindfulness
in Plain English, Updated and Expanded Edition
Copyright:
No part of this article in section or full may be reproduced
without permission from the author Justin Stum, MS LMFT. The
one and only exception is for educational purposes and only
if the contact information below for the author is fully cited
here in article.
Justin
Stum, MS LMFT, 321 Mall Drive Suite I-101, St. George Utah 84790
435-986-1777, http://www.pathwaystherapy.net
Tags: mindfulness,
meditation, pondering, stress, emotional
regulation
